Old Sayings (that nobody says anymore)

I started thinking about this the other day and decided to start writing down sayings from my youth. How many do you remember? Do you have any to add? Please do so in the comments and I will share!  PART ONE:

  • You sound like a broken record
  • If you had a brain, you’d take it out and play with it.
  • That’s the way the cookie crumbles
  • Never look a gift horse in the mouth
  • No sense crying over spilt milk
  • Beggers can’t be choosers
  • Penny saved is a penny earned
  • That’s water under the bridge
  • Bright eyed and bushy tailed
  • It takes two to tango
  • A few beers short of a six-pack
  • Slicker than silk (alternative “snot”)
  • Chew the fat
  • Deader than a doornail
  • Happy as a lark
  • Happy as a pig in slop
  • Going on a bender
  • I’m feeling right as rain
  • God willing and the creek don’t rise
  • A day late and a dollar short
  • Mean as a junkyard dog
  • Don’t let the door hit you on the way out
  • Here’s your hat, what’s your hurry
  • Colder than a bare butt on a brass bedpan
  • No guts, no glory
  • Like trying to find a needle in a haystack
  • May hay while the sun shines
  • Preaching to the choir
  • What’s good for the goose is good for the gander
  • Run like the devil is after you
  • Somewhere between the devil and the deep blue sea

I’ll be back for part two in the blink of an eye…

50 States/50 Countries-Famous World Landmarks

Website TripAdvisor recently published a list of the world’s 25 top landmarks based upon votes from their millions of readers. We have been to half the ones listed (which means we have a lot to go!) and wanted to share our photographs with you, in order, from the top vote-getter down. How many have you seen?

St. Peter’s Basilica – Rome, ItalyPICT0018 (3)PICT0436 (2)PICT0438 (2)PICT0430 (2)PICT0433 (2)

Duomo di Milano – Milan, ItalyPICT0034 (3)

Alcatraz Island – San Francisco, CaliforniaDSC02714 (2)Australia Dec. 2008 305 (2)

Golden Gate Bridge – San Francisco, California177770941

Notre Dame Cathedral – Paris, FranceNotre Dame2PICT0793 (2)PICT0795 (3)

Eiffel Tower – Paris, FrancePICT0816 (2)

Tower of London – London, United KingdomPICT0473 (3)Acropolis – Athens, Greecetravel photos 063 (2)

Temple of the Reclining Buddha (Wat Pho) – Bangkok, ThailandFAR EAST 2009 ALL 567 (2)

Mutianyu Great Wall – Beijing, ChinaFAR EAST 2009 ALL 1076 (2)

Sydney Opera House – Sydney, AustraliaAustralia Dec. 2008 169 (2)

One of the great world landmarks left off this list is the Great Pyramid & Sphinx near Cairo, Egypt which I think has to be included…

PICT0133 (3)

What other sites would you add? Here are some of my suggestions…

Cairo Mosque?PICT0156 (2)PICT0165 (2)

Peterhof Palace & Gardens?DSC01869 (2)

Giant Buddha – Hong Kong?DSC03328 (3)

Happy travels!  Rich

 

 

50 States/50 Countries-Russia

DSC00582 (2)(Russian battleship Potemkin)

Russia…The Soviet Union…The Cold War. Friend? Enemy? As a person who grew up in the 50’s, I never thought I would ever get to visit this country of 6.6 million square miles, the largest country in the world, twice the size of the United States. Allies in WWII, relations have been on and off again ever since. Now once again they are accused of using propaganda to try to influence our elections. Regardless of your politics, our visit to St. Peterburg revealed a friendly people (Russian Wedding)DSC00701 (2) and some amazing art and architecture.DSC00499 (2)Church of the Savior on Spilled Blood. A magnificent church on a canal.DSC00479 (2)Saint Isaac’s Cathedral…largest dome in the world. DSC00617 (4)DSC00518 (2)Bronze doors reminded me of the ones on the baptistery in Firenze.DSC00531 (2)The Winter Palace of the Czars which in addition to being a beautiful palace, contains the Hermitage Museum and several famous paintings and sculptures.DSC00681 (2)DSC00412 (2)Can you identify the following three artists?DSC00668 (2)DSC00666 (2)DSC00667 (2)

1. (La Danse) Henri Matisse 1909; 2. Vincent van Gogh 3. Paul Gauguin

DSC00387 (2)One of the most beautiful palaces is the Peterhof, a UNESCO World Heritage Site166 (2)known for its location (right on the Baltic Sea), gardens, and fountains…DSC01869 (2)My wife & I shot all the pictures you see above. Enjoy! До свидания (Da svidania) & happy travels!  Rich

The Entertainer Blogger Award

The Entertainer Blogger Award

 

entertainerbloggeraward-copy

Thanks so much to Ana Rocha from https://cookthebeans.com for nominating me for this award. Please visit her blog If you want to know more about travel, food, vegan cooking & eating, and recipes from all over the planet. Very educational and entertaining.

Why did you start blogging in the first place? 

I have always been a writer. Professionally for many years as a journalist and in public relations, but also writing fiction on the side, short stories and eventually two novels (working on the third). I also love to travel and take photos. One of my blog series is call 50 states/50 countries and it gives me a chance to share photos from around the globe.

What is your favorite book?

Love to read. Got my first library card in the 4th grade. Beyond the Hardy Boys, one “adult” book got me hooked and remains a favorite…A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court by Mark Twain

What do you dislike the most?

People arguing politics on Facebook.

What is your favourite food at the mall?

Has to be sushi.

What is your favorite pastime?

Three main areas would be: writing/photography; playing bass guitar & singing with my 60’s cover band, Revolution Road; acting on stage, TV and film.

MY NOMINEES

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https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/58570484

https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/29801870

 

Congrats to all nominees 💚 Can’t wait to read your replies.

📍Rules

  • Thank the person who nominated you add link to their blog
  • Add the rules, so others can follow
  • Nominate people who you find fun, inspiring and entertaining!
  • Answer the same questions
  • Include the graphic in your post

Christmas Cheer

Back in the late 60’s I experimented with what I called poetry at the time…although it reads more like song lyrics to me now. Anyhow, I thought I would share my rewrites with my readers. Let me know what you think…434px-MerryOldSanta

Deck the halls with sparkling tinsel,

Blanket the streets with new fallen snow,

Clear the air of misconstrued knowledge,

Decorate with holly and bulbs aglow.

Busy elves working hard,

Greedy toy manufacturers too,

Competing for your hard-earned dollars,

Advertising applies the screws.

Dangling mistletoe overhead,

17558Gives maidens not only a kiss,

But a pinch and a squeeze from a dirty old man,

Celebrating the holidays with carnal bliss.

Exhausted parents in crowded stores,

Search baskets of ill-made toys,

Beggars of all sizes and shapes,

Prepared to steal from the girls and boys.

Poor old Santa comes again,

As he does most every year,

He knows just how good you’ve been,

Relax…try to calm your fears.

For you’ll get your gift of pleasure,

And keep it all year through,

Cause Santa knows what you deserve,

And by God he’ll give it to you…

 

Copyright 2018 Richard Allan Jones

 

 

 

 

Search (The Eagle)

Back in the late 60’s I experimented with what I called poetry at the time…although it reads more like song lyrics to me now. Anyhow, I thought I would share with my readers. Let me know what you think…

PICT0029 (2)

 

A flash of light sears the earth,

The minds of men have given birth,

Heavenly body hung in the sky,

Passes its verdict to live or to die.

A ray of hope on a dusty plain,

A hesitant step for all mankind,

Then the fear came.

A frantic search,

A gasp for air,

What can be said…

God

     Was

            Not

                          There…

 

 

 

Pepe-Part 3

DSC00535 (2)

Here is a short story I wrote awhile back and recently updated. I’ll run it in three parts. Let me know what you think.

Pepe (part 3)

By

Rich Allan

I went to bed early that night right after supper. I tossed and turned, dreaming of a crazy Latino in baggy pants, with a chipped tooth, offering me three wishes, and a large plate of rice and beans.

When I woke the next morning, I felt the same. Did I get my wish or not? I jumped out of bed and raced over to my height measurement chart that I had drawn on the wall ever since I was old enough to hold a pencil. Standing as tall as possible, I drew another line. I looked at the new mark and hung my head in disappointment…sixteen years old and still only a paltry four-foot ten inches tall.

I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth. Nothing prepared me for the person who appeared in the mirror…a teenager in his jockey shorts looking like an elf-sized Santa Claus without a beard. I had grown alright…only out instead of up. As I watched in amazement, my outline split, flesh blurred, shimmered like a spirit, and shook like Jello in an earthquake. The two vibrating me’s went in and out of focus, until they came back together, like two cells under a microscope, joining to make a larger entity twice as big.

This pattern repeated itself several times during the next two weeks and despite hardly eating, boot camp exercises, visits to the doctor and trying all the fad diets…grapefruit, low-carb, and jellybeans…I kept gaining weight. Sometimes the shifts were violent, like David Banner turning into the Hulk, splitting out my clothes, and leaving me naked, one time much to the amusement of my coed gym class.

Freak got added to the name calling, along with balloon boy, hippo, tons-of-fun, and so forth. When I outgrew my dad’s clothes, my parents started buying stuff from the big and tall shop. After I outgrew those, Mother started making my outfits from scratch buying material in large rolls because I could change up to two sizes in a single day. Mom practically lived at the sewing machine, trying to keep up.

I quit going to school because I couldn’t fit through the front double doors. It got to the point I couldn’t walk, sleep in a bed, or live in our garage. The fire department kindly let me stay in one of their large bays, reclining on a flatbed tractor-trailer covered with mattresses. I don’t even want to talk about the problems that occurred when I had to go the bathroom.

Finally, fearing the end was near, they towed me to the baseball field and lowered me gently down…filling the entire infield, covering all the bases and home plate. Right after arriving, my stomach flip-flopped, my body shimmered, and I expanded another two inches. I could hear the ooh’s and ahh’s from the crowd that had gathered as they witnessed my latest transition. I held my breath and closed my eyes because I did not want to watch my imminent death.

A minute went by, then two. Nothing happened. I opened one eye and looked around. The onlookers had covered their ears and were slowly backing away. The TV crews and paparazzi raised their cameras in anticipation of capturing the precise moment I blew up…piranhas. I just wanted it to be over.

“Hola, Tom,” a familiar voice whispered in my ear.

A man stood beside me, cleaned shaven, sparkling smile, dressed in Armani and looking like a movie star.

My stomach gurgled. “What happened to Pele?”

He laughed. “Pele is only one of my characters. You probably know me better as Diablo.”

“I’m in trouble here. Where have you been?”

“Rooting for the bulls in Mexico City.”

“Help me.”

“You don’t want to be big anymore?”

“What do you think?’

“Is that your second wish?”

“For goodness sakes, yes.”

He crossed his arms across his chest, blinked and nodded. “I always wanted to do that…every since I saw an episode of “I Dream of Jeannie.”

The crowd gasped as I instantaneous shrank from blimp to ant size and disappeared. Diablo knelt down on the grass. “You okay there, Tom?”

I push aside a dandelion stem and addressed the giant face above me. “You tricked me.”

“One more wish to go. Make it a good one.”

“Just put me back to the way I was when we first met.”

Diablo smiled, snapped his fingers and I returned to normal, spitting out some grass that I had almost swallowed during the transition. The crowd once again shouted their approval of the show.

“No more wishes, Tom.”

I sighed. “So, I’m right back where I started.”

“Not exactly. You signed a contract.”

“What does that mean?” I shouted at him as he disappeared in a flash of lightning, a puff of smoke, and the smell of sulfur, leaving behind only a trail of wicked laughter.”

*   *   *

The unusually short old man came out of the confessional at the same time as the priest.

“That’s quite a story, Tom.”

“I swear it’s true.”

“I worry about you. Are you eating properly? You look so skinny.”

Tom glanced around the church. “No matter what I eat, I can’t gain weight and everything taste like rice & beans.”

“You’re not hitting the sauce again?”

Both Tom’s hands were shaking. He grasped the end of a pew to steady himself. “No more than I need. I keep catching glimpses of him…on the street, at the store…and hearing his creepy laugh.”

“Say three Hail Mary’s and two Our Fathers and you will be fine.”

“Will that give me absolution?”

“You didn’t sign a deal with the devil. You just had a bad dream.”

“For forty years?”

“Go home, Tom, get some rest. And for goodness sakes, eat something.”

Tom, coughing up blood from the cancer racking his body, broke out in a sweat as he shuffled out of the church. He hurried down the street, his coat collar turned up against the wind and the cold. Pulling a key from his pocket, he entered the small apartment, ceiling and walls papered in pictures of Jesus and complemented with large crucifixes everywhere. He locked the door behind him, turned the three deadbolts into place and fastened the double chains.

He sat down in his easy chair and began reading the bible, as he did every night. Was it a dream? Harry died years ago in a car accident and his mother had told him no one had seen anybody out on the baseball field with him. The doctors explained his condition had been caused by a rare gland problem that somehow cured itself.

Tom put down the bible and took a swig from the nearby flask. Another series of coughs shook his whole body. He wiped the blood from his mouth with a handkerchief. It wouldn’t be long now, ten days at most, and then he would know for sure…

-The End-

 

Copyright Richard Allan Jones 2018