Christmas Cheer

Back in the late 60’s I experimented with what I called poetry at the time…although it reads more like song lyrics to me now. Anyhow, I thought I would share my rewrites with my readers. Let me know what you think…434px-MerryOldSanta

Deck the halls with sparkling tinsel,

Blanket the streets with new fallen snow,

Clear the air of misconstrued knowledge,

Decorate with holly and bulbs aglow.

Busy elves working hard,

Greedy toy manufacturers too,

Competing for your hard-earned dollars,

Advertising applies the screws.

Dangling mistletoe overhead,

17558Gives maidens not only a kiss,

But a pinch and a squeeze from a dirty old man,

Celebrating the holidays with carnal bliss.

Exhausted parents in crowded stores,

Search baskets of ill-made toys,

Beggars of all sizes and shapes,

Prepared to steal from the girls and boys.

Poor old Santa comes again,

As he does most every year,

He knows just how good you’ve been,

Relax…try to calm your fears.

For you’ll get your gift of pleasure,

And keep it all year through,

Cause Santa knows what you deserve,

And by God he’ll give it to you…

 

Copyright 2018 Richard Allan Jones

 

 

 

 

Thanksgiving Thanks From Around the World…

IMG_2651 (2)

benjamin-franklinWell, it’s #Thanksgiving in America, where both the turkey and the people around the table get stuffed. We aren’t the only country to celebrate this Holiday. It’s also observed in┬áCanada, a few Caribbean islands, and Liberia (Where the heck is Liberia and how did they get in on the action?). Canada gets the jump on us by celebrating in October. That’s why starting November 1, you see so many turkeys migrating north. Still, we manage to capture and eat 46 million of the birds in one day! Not bad for a fowl once proposed by Benjamin Franklin as the “national bird.” If he had been successful we might be eating eagles on this day…NOT!

The holiday originated with the Pilgrims, I’m told, who were giving thanks for making it safely across the ocean to the new world and not starving to death…mainly because the Indians (now called Native Americans by everyone except the tribes themselves) welcomed them and shared their food. We repaid them by taking over their county…bet they regret that original instinct to help.

Thanksgiving in the USA is also associated with hours of American asleep TVfootball on the telly while the family sits around facing the screen…sound asleep. Oddly enough football is played with a pigskin…I wonder if they ever thought of substituting a turkey skin or having Americans eat BBQ pulled pork on this day.

 

As we all give thanks today for the positive things in our life, I wanted to share with you an amazing stack of letters I discovered where folks around the world shared what they are thankful for on this day, November 23, 2017. Here are some of my favorites:

  • Washington DC Interns wrote they are thankful Bill is not back in the White House.
  • The Pope wrote he was grateful they finally made the communion wafers sugar free.
  • Putin wrote he was happy his official Kremlin portrait showed him shirtless.
  • Kim Jong-il is happy Amazon finally shipped him the four-inch shoe lifts he order on Prime.
  • The media is thrilled they are no longer required to confirm sources or stories or report both sides of an issue and can say whatever they damn well please without repercussion.
  • Roy Moore is thankful for his favorite song, “Thank Heavens for Little Girls.”
  • Los Angeles is grateful for all the parade permit money they get from protest marches.
  • Anthony Wiener is grateful for the Internet.
  • Hollywood is not pleased to be named the sexual harassment capitol of the world but in an effort to recognize the problem plan to put clothes on the Oscar, Golden Globes and SAG awards statues.
  • Congress is grateful to still have a job despite not showing up for work in more than ten years.
  • Mark Elliot Zuckerberg is very pleased with the millions of rubles he received from overseas advertising during the 2016 election campaign.
  • Charlie Rose is thankful for see thru shower sliding doors.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Richard Allan Jones is an author, actor and musician living in Los Angeles…

Identity Check Ad 2 (1)-DRAFTED- Ad 4 (2)