Christmas Songs That Should Be Banned.

First of all, we need to stop calling them “Christmas” songs. Despite being about the Christmas, it ignores the other yearend celebrations and shows bias toward this blatantly Christian holiday. I suggest  “Popular Non-Religious,” “Holiday,” or “Winter Solstice” songs. To my knowledge, nobody has any objections to “Oh Little Town of Bethlehem (unless it has to do with contested borders or population counts in zero BC and what constitutes a “little town” … ie does that make it a “village?”)

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WDOK radio in Ohio, USA, started this debate by deciding to pull “Baby it’s Cold Outside” from its playlist because a listener was offended by the lyric “say, what’s in this drink?” It could be nutmeg, but we should assume it is some type of drug, especially in the version where a woman is singing to a man.

Another writer, I’m not sure of the source, has begun a list of other songs of the season that should also be banned from the airways or if not, whenever you hear them you should put a finger in each ear and very loudly say “na na na na na na na” until the tune is over.

Here is what he/she suggested (with some editing by me) of which songs should be banned and why…

1. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus: Exposes a young child to adultery and PDA
2. The Christmas Song: “Folks dressed up like Eskimos?” Stereotyping Native Americans and making fun of their traditional clothing.
3. Holly Jolly Christmas: “Kiss her once for me?” Promotes unwanted advances
4. Santa Claus is Coming to Town: “Sees you when you’re sleeping? Knows when you’re awake?” The entire song encourages becoming a peeping tom and a stalker
5. Most Wonderful Time of the Year: Demands you “be of good cheer.” What about my right to be depressed during the holidays?
6. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: Another sad tale of bullying in school with no punishment for the offenders.
7. It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas: Forced gender-specific gifts: dolls for Janice and Jen and boots and pistols for Barney and Ben. Why should Janice be denied an uzi for home defense if she really wants one?
8. Santa Baby: Paints a sexist picture of a woman as a gold digger and “Come and trim my Christmas tree” lyric…we all know what she is really suggesting.
9. Frosty the Snowman: Sexist…should be Frosty the “Snowperson.”
10. Do You Hear What I Hear?: totally ignores the deaf community
11. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas: “Make the yuletide gay?” Just because this time of year we like to dress up, decorate, and host fabulous parties…there is no need for labels…and they repeat it several times.
12. Jingle Bell Rock: “Giddy-up jingle horse, pick up your feet Jingle around the clock” Animal abuse!!!…forcing this poor horse to run for 24 hours without rest or food and in winter, yet. “Rocking around the Chrismas Tree?” Very dangerous and gets the kids all riled up when they are already too excited.
13. Winter Wonderland: Parson Brown asking if they are married…what business is it of his?  Invasion of your personal space. And “We’ll have lots of fun with mister snowman until the other kids knock him down.” Vandalism!

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Maybe if we changed the lyrics of these songs to more politically correct verbiage they would be more acceptable (and many more…probably all of them… need to be rewritten to the new standards).

Or we could just stop listening to popular Christmas songs and turn to Gregorian chants in Latin so we can’t understand the lyrics.

Or we could stop whining, evaluating, and assuming every word is sinister and just enjoy the music as we sit by the open fire (hopefully in a safe firepit on a non-windy day), roasting our chestnuts (is that dirty?), and toasting the new year (which has to be better than 2018) while enjoying our Hanukkah bush, Kwanzaa candles, and Christmas wreath, after donning our gay apparel (blame Deck the Halls).

In closing, Happy Holidays, May the Force Be With You, and finally, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.”

Ten things for which I am thankful 2018

As we approach Thanksgiving In this crazy modern world (and I know it is primarily an American holiday), I harken back to my youth, growing up in the 50’s a simpler, more peaceful, probably less informed time without the Internet, fake news, daily messages of violence, political/racial/religious hate, opinionated news media, constant war somewhere in the world, mass killings.

But were the 1950s really that great? Did we truly live a Norman Rockwell existence? There were the McCarthy hearings blackballing creative Hollywood “communists.” The cold war froze relationships between Russia and the USA. We lived in constant fear of nuclear war that would obliterate mankind, practiced hiding under our desks at school, built fallout shelters, and every day at noon and midnight the B-52s with those nuclear bombs inside took off from a nearby airbase rattling the dishes in our cupboard. We lived at ground zero.

Every decade has its ups and downs. Low points that everyone remembers and regrets, like Vietnam in the 60s for me and the military draft that could mean dying before you were old enough to drink, anti-war protests, Kennedy’s assassination.

But every Thanksgiving we would try to pause and reflect on the positive things in our lives for which we are grateful.  The 50s were a breather from the terrors of WWII, a time of unlocked doors, the birth of television, great prosperity, baby boomers, hot rods, flat tops, and sock hops. The 60’s were a time of discovery, race into space, the Beatles, personal freedom…the right to protest, challenge the status quo, free love, Hair. The 70’s brought us Punk Rock, Disney World, end of the Vietnam War, Deep Throat, the Godfather, Secretariat, Saturday Night Live, Elton John. The 80’s introduced personal computers, big hair bands, etc. You get the idea.

Today’s challenge…name ten things you are grateful for in 2018 (in the comments section). Could be big things that impacted the world or just your corner of it. Must be positive, not “I’m glad Hilary lost the election.”  Here is my list:

  1. My wife discovered cancer early and doctors were able to remove, leaving her cancer-free.
  2. My wife and I are finally seeing success in losing weight and keeping it off.
  3. Both our son and daughter found true love and got married this year. Both ceremonies went off without a hitch.
  4. We remain in remain in relatively good health and physically active, especially compared to many friends our age.
  5. We are retired and do not have to get up in the morning until we choose to do so (or to let the dog out).
  6. We are, at the moment, financially secure with a nice home in a nice neighborhood.
  7. I am free to pursue my “hobbies” of acting, music, and writing. This has been a good year for all three and I’ve even made a little money doing it.
  8. We bought our first new (used) car in fourteen years and got a hell of a deal.
  9. Because of the weddings, I got to see my brother and his family for the first time in five years; and my sister for the first time in 11 years.
  10. Thankful for those whose homes and lives were spared in this year’s California wildfires.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Old Sayings (that nobody says anymore)

I started thinking about this the other day and decided to start writing down sayings from my youth. How many do you remember? Do you have any to add? Please do so in the comments and I will share!  PART TWO:

  • Cute as a button
  • Cold as a witch’s teat in a brass bra
  • No such thing as a free lunch
  • The devil made me do it
  • You bet your bippy
  • Sock it to me
  • A stitch in time saves nine
  • United we stand; Divided we fall
  • There are no atheists in foxholes
  • The pen is mightier than the sword
  • Two beers short of a six-pack
  • Dumber than a post
  • A penny saved is a penny earned
  • You are what you eat
  • Turn a blind eye
  • As old as the hills
  • Older than dirt
  • Out with the old; In with the new
  • Funny as a screen door in a submarine
  • Funny as a pay toilet in a diarrhea ward
  • Smart as a whip
  • Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
  • Penny-wise; Pound-foolish
  • Can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs
  • Action speaks louder than words
  • People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw rocks
  • Like shooting fish in a barrel
  • A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush
  • The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence
  • Birds of a feather flock together
  • If the shoe fits, wear it
  • The early bird gets the worm
  • If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen
  • You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink
  • The squeaky wheel gets the grease
  • Can’t judge a book by the cover
  • Absence makes the heart grow fonder
  • Spare the rod, spoil the child

There are more…should I do another blog on this?  Do you have any of your favorites to add?

 

Old Sayings (that nobody says anymore)

I started thinking about this the other day and decided to start writing down sayings from my youth. How many do you remember? Do you have any to add? Please do so in the comments and I will share!  PART ONE:

  • You sound like a broken record
  • If you had a brain, you’d take it out and play with it.
  • That’s the way the cookie crumbles
  • Never look a gift horse in the mouth
  • No sense crying over spilt milk
  • Beggers can’t be choosers
  • Penny saved is a penny earned
  • That’s water under the bridge
  • Bright eyed and bushy tailed
  • It takes two to tango
  • A few beers short of a six-pack
  • Slicker than silk (alternative “snot”)
  • Chew the fat
  • Deader than a doornail
  • Happy as a lark
  • Happy as a pig in slop
  • Going on a bender
  • I’m feeling right as rain
  • God willing and the creek don’t rise
  • A day late and a dollar short
  • Mean as a junkyard dog
  • Don’t let the door hit you on the way out
  • Here’s your hat, what’s your hurry
  • Colder than a bare butt on a brass bedpan
  • No guts, no glory
  • Like trying to find a needle in a haystack
  • May hay while the sun shines
  • Preaching to the choir
  • What’s good for the goose is good for the gander
  • Run like the devil is after you
  • Somewhere between the devil and the deep blue sea

I’ll be back for part two in the blink of an eye…

The Entertainer Blogger Award

The Entertainer Blogger Award

 

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Thanks so much to Ana Rocha from https://cookthebeans.com for nominating me for this award. Please visit her blog If you want to know more about travel, food, vegan cooking & eating, and recipes from all over the planet. Very educational and entertaining.

Why did you start blogging in the first place? 

I have always been a writer. Professionally for many years as a journalist and in public relations, but also writing fiction on the side, short stories and eventually two novels (working on the third). I also love to travel and take photos. One of my blog series is call 50 states/50 countries and it gives me a chance to share photos from around the globe.

What is your favorite book?

Love to read. Got my first library card in the 4th grade. Beyond the Hardy Boys, one “adult” book got me hooked and remains a favorite…A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court by Mark Twain

What do you dislike the most?

People arguing politics on Facebook.

What is your favourite food at the mall?

Has to be sushi.

What is your favorite pastime?

Three main areas would be: writing/photography; playing bass guitar & singing with my 60’s cover band, Revolution Road; acting on stage, TV and film.

MY NOMINEES

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https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/58570484

https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/29801870

 

Congrats to all nominees 💚 Can’t wait to read your replies.

📍Rules

  • Thank the person who nominated you add link to their blog
  • Add the rules, so others can follow
  • Nominate people who you find fun, inspiring and entertaining!
  • Answer the same questions
  • Include the graphic in your post

Christmas Cheer

Back in the late 60’s I experimented with what I called poetry at the time…although it reads more like song lyrics to me now. Anyhow, I thought I would share my rewrites with my readers. Let me know what you think…434px-MerryOldSanta

Deck the halls with sparkling tinsel,

Blanket the streets with new fallen snow,

Clear the air of misconstrued knowledge,

Decorate with holly and bulbs aglow.

Busy elves working hard,

Greedy toy manufacturers too,

Competing for your hard-earned dollars,

Advertising applies the screws.

Dangling mistletoe overhead,

17558Gives maidens not only a kiss,

But a pinch and a squeeze from a dirty old man,

Celebrating the holidays with carnal bliss.

Exhausted parents in crowded stores,

Search baskets of ill-made toys,

Beggars of all sizes and shapes,

Prepared to steal from the girls and boys.

Poor old Santa comes again,

As he does most every year,

He knows just how good you’ve been,

Relax…try to calm your fears.

For you’ll get your gift of pleasure,

And keep it all year through,

Cause Santa knows what you deserve,

And by God he’ll give it to you…

 

Copyright 2018 Richard Allan Jones

 

 

 

 

Search (The Eagle)

Back in the late 60’s I experimented with what I called poetry at the time…although it reads more like song lyrics to me now. Anyhow, I thought I would share with my readers. Let me know what you think…

PICT0029 (2)

 

A flash of light sears the earth,

The minds of men have given birth,

Heavenly body hung in the sky,

Passes its verdict to live or to die.

A ray of hope on a dusty plain,

A hesitant step for all mankind,

Then the fear came.

A frantic search,

A gasp for air,

What can be said…

God

     Was

            Not

                          There…